Not My Journey
- Ashley Qurollo
- Aug 4
- 3 min read
August 4, 2025
I could have titled this post, “The Comparison Trap” and probably should have if I wanted to garner the power of search engines. Yet this phrase, “Not My Journey”, has been rolling around in my mind and heart for months now. I’ve used this simple phrase in my own thinking (and counseling to myself) when my heart tightens with anxiety or envy over someone else’s life.
I really don’t watch or absorb too much social media because it takes a serious toll on my spiritual mental well-being. When I see YouTube video thumbnails with fantastic titles about the amazing feats people accomplish, the self-doubt rises and I begin to wonder at the value of my work.
I have a small family and daily work hard at just doing the simple things—keeping my home, raising and schooling my kids, contributing to my church, and with what extra time I have, investing in my little ventures here and on YouTube. Logically, my mind quickly draws the conclusion that my life must not be as rich or valuable as those other folks who are accomplishing so much more than I am.
Yet is my life really less valuable? Am I actually accomplishing less than others who seem to do so much more? What even makes a life valuable? Can we measure the success of someone’s life by any outward, visible metric?
As I have wrestled in my own heart over and over with the value of my own personal life, I have come to a simple yet powerful conclusion: Am I doing what God wants me to do? If the answer is yes, then my life has intrinsic value. If I am walking in obedience to God, then my life is worth something to Him and those that my life touches.
As I have wrestled in my own heart over and over with the value of my own personal life, I have come to a simple yet powerful conclusion: Am I doing what God wants me to do?
What God wants me to do in my life may look quite different than what He wants someone else to be doing. At a quick glance, someone’s life may seem “more” successful than mine in so many ways because of observable metrics, yet if I am walking in obedience, my life is no less than anyone else’s.
Each of us have our own unique journey, a path of life designed by the Lord and filled with His blessings if we will stay on His path. As I think of my own life journey, I see many heartaches and trials that God has kept me from and also struggles and valleys that I have had to walk through.
When I see others’ journeys, I am slowly beginning to remind myself, “That’s not my journey.” If there’s successes, then I need to rejoice in those successes. If God wanted that good thing to happen in my life, He would have put it on the path of my journey. If there’s heartache, I can quietly thank the Lord that my family has been spared, yet a tender compassion should fill my heart for folks in trials.
Once I started to mentally process that everyone’s journey looks very different, I began to realize, “It’s okay that our lives are not the same.” God doesn’t hand out the same box of 24 count crayons to everyone in an effort to be fair in adult life. We all have very different boxes of crayons, and it’s actually okay and it makes the body of Christ beautiful and colorful.
To some people, God gives them a stunning pack of 64 count crayons, and He expects a lot out of those folks, but God has often equipped them to handle a lot of pressure. For many of us, we do have the standard 24 pack that God expects us to use to live an ordinary, seemingly mundane life for His glory and the good of those around us.
I’m learning that it’s okay to be ordinary. In fact, there’s great peace in just being who God’s wants me to be. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone else. All I need to do is make sure that I’m doing what God wants me to do, and when self-doubt and comparisons arise, I can remember, “That’s not my journey.”
-Ashley
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Hi, Ashley! I just got back from a trip and read your post. What an excellent reminder to keep our eyes on the tasks God has for each of us individually!!! When we stand before the Lord, we won't have to answer for what other people did; we will only have to account for our own actions, words, use of time, heart attitude, etc. Another thing I was thinking as I read your post is that we often don't know what is going on in others' lives. In this social media age, people pick and choose what to share with the world and can (intentionally or not) make their lives look better than what they really are. If we…
Thank you for your thoughts Ashley! I love the question: "Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?" There is a reason that contentment and thankfulness are commanded so often, and used as an antidote against anxiety and evil.Where there is jealousy and selfishness, there is also disorder and every kind of evil. James 3:16 Sometimes simplifying my "doing" into the "love God" or "love others" helps me figure out the priorities and see it as valuable. Making my home less chaotic by folding laundry is loving my family. etc. Or letting the laundry stay in the dryer so we can play with our neighbors is loving people. Holy Spirit gives wisdom.
Oh Ashley! This is so so good. I will need to borrow this phrase “not my journey”. I admit I have envied the journey of others who are more talented, etc than I am. I absolutely love the truths you pointed out. Especially that sometimes the bigger box of crayons comes with more pressure. 😬To whom much hath been given…🙏
I think that you meet the qualifications of a good servant. It’s not the fancy journey…it’s faithfulness. “Well done, thou good and FAITHFUL servant”. I see faithfulness in your life as you seek to honor God in your home and life. That’s what matters, sweet friend.
thanks for the convicting reminder. Love you!🥰 Jenifer
I love following the beautiful journey that God has you on! You are a beautiful friend as well!
You speak of “ordinary,” yet everything in your words resounds with courage, conviction, and quiet clarity . . . qualities that are far from common in a world that prizes noise over depth. The journey you are on is not less than someone else’s; rather, it is divinely appointed, eternally valuable, and deeply needed.
Your life may not be marked by viral recognition or outward applause, but it is marked by something infinitely greater: obedience, love, sacrifice, and the unseen beauty of walking humbly with your God. You are raising souls, shaping hearts, and sowing seeds in hidden fields. That is not ordinary; that is sacred.
Comparison is cruel, but you’ve responded with wisdom: “That’s not my journey.”…